I was riddled with self-doubt, low, if any, self-esteem and did NOT listen to the music of my soul. For far too long, I existed in a swirl of total despair and frustration. And, yet, as I grew older and began to experience strong transformational periods, I realized I was continuing to surround myself with the same kinds of toxic, dysfunctional individuals who would profess to admire my strength and derring do, as they held me back with their demands and/or expectations that weighed me down.
At the same time, these were the people who attempted to control and manipulate me to do whatever it was they wanted, while they demeaned and belittled me when I did not comply. When I FINALLY woke up, faced reality and accepted that my transformation had to include my turning away from people like this, I finally stopped, decided I'd had 'ENOUGH' and began to both distance and rid myself of these denizens of darkness. My light began to shine too brightly for me to cower within the shadows of myself.
Alas, this stage of my emotionally evolving led me to experience what seemed to me, at the time, the darkest days of my life. It became apparent to me, after suffering their metaphoric slings and arrows, that these people were apparently so threatened by my transformation that they felt righteously compelled to emotionally eviscerate me to ensure that I become helpless and incapable of thinking.for myself -- separate and apart from them, their wants, needs and/or agendas. For awhile, I allowed myself to get sucked into the vortex of an emotional firestorm from which I thought I'd never survive.
But, I HAVE survived and, eventually, I began to heal as I emotionally evolved into the woman I am today. I now firmly believe that any singular act can and DOES make a difference. It did in my life; it does in others' lives.
The message of this story conveys a profound truth for me. I share it with you in the hope that you are true to yourself and that you KNOW that what you do makes a difference. Do not EVER become so weary of wonderland that you forget your beauty within, the love that is the very essence of your soul. Always, ALWAYS listen to your heart -- as you dance the dance of life, you will never cease to be an inspiration, now, ALWAYS.
Stephanie Doty
Weary of Wonderland
May 5, 2014
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